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  • Writer's pictureBen Boylan

NYC DJ for Gay Weddings

gay dj wedding nyc
A special wedding I (Ben Boylan) DJed

A DJ for your LGBTQ+ wedding in the NYC area

When it comes to the perfect gay wedding, every detail matters, especially the music!

Searching for an NYC DJ for your LGBTQ+ wedding? I get it; finding the right DJ, one who understands the unique vibe and nuances of gay weddings, is really important.

But why is selecting the right DJ for a gay wedding so different, and how can you ensure you've picked the best one?

Dive into this post as we go through the significance of a DJ who specializes in gay weddings. Ensuring your big day resonates with love, pride, and the perfect playlist!

Why Gay Weddings Matter Today

Gay weddings, particularly in a diverse and progressive city like NYC, represent more than two people of the same gender getting married. They symbolize the triumph of love over adversity and homophobia.

Historically, the LGBTQ+ community has had it hard. But today, as we celebrate gay weddings across the city, we're reminded of how far we've come and the importance of cherishing every love story.

As a wedding DJ, I'm proud to play a part in these special celebrations.

What Makes Gay Weddings Unique

Every wedding is as diverse as the couple at its center, and gay weddings are no exception. While some LGBTQ+ couples choose to follow classic wedding traditions, others create new ones. Or blend a mix of old and new.

It's essential to approach each wedding with an open mind and heart.

As a DJ, it's my job to learn and respect your priorities for your wedding. Whether that's playing a certain genre of music, honoring a unique tradition, or ensuring the playlist reflects your shared journey.

gay dj wedding nyc
Me with 2 brides at a Brooklyn wedding

Popular Songs and Artists in the LGBTQ+ Community

NYC has always been at the forefront of embracing diverse artists and anthems that resonate with the LGBTQ+ community. From classics like "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor to modern hits from artists like Beyonce and Ariana Grande, there are many artists, genres, and songs that are repeat requests from my gay couples.

However, while these songs and artists might be crowd-pleasers, I will consult with you to ensure the playlist resonates with your personal experiences. Beyond the famous tracks, there are so many lesser-known gems that might hold special meaning for you.

Playlists that have been popular at several gay weddings I worked:

Music Choices: Beyond Stereotypes

While there are iconic LGBTQ+ anthems that we all know, it's wrong to think that every gay couple wants the same playlist.

While some couples might want to hear divas or disco, I've DJed for many LGBTQ+ couples who asked for different genres. From club rap to emo rock, the gay and lesbian couples I've DJed for have all asked for different music.

Music is deeply personal, and I'm here to curate a soundtrack that reflects your style and shared experiences. From indie tracks to classic love songs, my goal is always to help curate a dance party that feels authentic to your story.

Some playlists that have been popular at non-traditional LGBTQ+ weddings I’ve DJed in the past year or two:

gay dj wedding nyc
Me with 2 grooms at a Hudson Valley wedding

Using Music to Share Your Story

Gay or straight, every couple has a unique love story.

I encourage couples to incorporate songs from their journey into their wedding. Whether it's a song from their first date, the track that played during a special moment, or a tune that captures their shared sense of humor, the playlist becomes their unique story.

Incorporating these elements into each wedding ensures that the event is not only fun and memorable but also deeply personal and meaningful. It's always an honor to play a part in such a significant day for couples in NYC.

Making Everyone Feel Welcome

Every guest at a wedding, regardless of their background or identity, should feel celebrated and safe. In NYC, with its incredible diversity, this is especially true!

As the DJ, I have a unique role in setting the tone for your event. Through music and announcements, I strive to foster an environment where love is the focus, and every guest feels included in the celebration.

Some techniques I've used as a DJ at LGBTQ+ weddings:

  • Use inclusive language: "Could I have everyone's attention?" instead of "ladies and gentlemen." “Wedding party” instead of “bridal party.”

  • Respectful communication: Using correct pronouns or the person's chosen name.

  • Sensitivity to requests: Avoiding songs that may offend the LGBTQ+ community. And avoiding artists with a history of homophobia.

  • Collaborate with the couple: This is important at every wedding. It’s especially important at LGBTQ+ weddings. A wedding DJ should always base their playlist on feedback from the couple. And ask for their guidance.

gay dj wedding nyc
Me with two brides at a very sweet wedding

Collaboration: Working with Gay Couples

Working well together is key to a great wedding party. In a busy place like NYC, every couple is different. Talking openly from the start helps me know what they want.

It's not just about the songs they like, but also about any special touches they want. I make sure to send them an online form to fill out. And then to meet them on Zoom a few weeks before their wedding to go over that form.

That way, the music on their wedding day really matches their style and taste. And I don’t just do this with gay couples. I do this with all couples.

Handling Special Dances and Traditions

The beauty of modern weddings, especially in the LGBTQ+ community, lies in the blend of traditions. Some couples opt for the classic first dance, while others may have unique dances or moments they wish to honor.

Many of my LGBTQ+ couples have made changes to classic wedding traditions. I encourage my couples to modify (or remove) the dances and traditions that make them uncomfortable.

  • The ceremony processional - Many LGBTQ+ couples choose to enter the ceremony together - or from different areas, but at the same time

  • Parent dances - Many couples I’ve worked with picked someone from their “chosen family” to dance with

  • Bouquet Toss - Most of the straight couples I work with have eliminated this tradition. But I’ve seen some gay and lesbian couples modify it and make it fun. Most recently, one couple threw anime pillows that their guests caught and kept as prizes.

  • Being introduced in pairs - Some couples have had the members of their wedding party enter one by one, or as a group.

  • And many more - which ones are special to you?

Picking Up on the Crowd's Vibe

No two weddings are the same, and this is especially true in NYC with its melting pot of cultures, backgrounds, and identities. As a DJ, you have to be able to read the room.

Some moments might call for uplifting dance tracks, while others might call for soulful ballads.

Beyond just reading the crowd, it's about celebrating the diversity at each event. This might mean including tracks from various cultures, eras, or genres to ensure every guest feels seen and celebrated.

In the heart of NYC, being a DJ for gay weddings is more than just playing music; it's about being an active listener and asking great questions.

I send an online form to each couple I work with. A few weeks before their wedding, we jump on a Zoom call to go over that form. I share my screen and ask them questions about the logistics, the traditions, and the music. I listen carefully to their answers and take notes so I can give them a dance party that reflects them - and gets their guests dancing!

gay dj wedding nyc
Such a fun wedding I DJed at the Foundry in Queens, LIC

Feedback and Stories: Memorable Moments from Gay Weddings

Every wedding I've had the honor of DJing in NYC has left an indelible mark on my heart. From unexpected dance-offs to tear-jerking dedications, each celebration is teeming with stories that underscore the beauty of love in its myriad forms. Let me share a few memorable moments that have stayed with me...

  • I DJed a wedding with two grooms who were a bit shy. They didn't like being in the spotlight. Besides doing a first dance, they had great food and an even better dance party. And that's it. For the first dance, I talked to their photographer. I gave her a heads up to get some beautiful shots real quick. Because the grooms only wanted to do their first dance for one minute.

  • I DJed a wedding with two brides who both work on Broadway shows. DJing in New York City, I work with many couples in musical theatre. This couple involved their friends in the wedding. They had performances at every part of the wedding. Singers at ceremony, dancers at cocktail hour, guitarists, pianists and more at reception. It was really amazing.

  • I worked with two grooms who asked me to choose classic Ballroom songs. Their friends did a voguing battle after dinner. I got to play "Walk for Me" by Robbie Tronco and "The Ha Dance" by Masters at Work. Their guests ate it up. The applause was really loud and the whole building was shaking.

Conclusion - NYC wedding DJ for Gay weddings

Weddings, at their heart, are about love, and every love story is worth celebrating. As an NYC wedding DJ, I've had the privilege of witnessing countless unique love stories unfold on the dance floor. And I take pride in ensuring that each wedding feels authentic to the couple at its center.

Gay weddings, with their blend of traditions and personal touches, remind us of the progress we've made and the work still ahead. But above all, they show that love transcends boundaries.

Whether you're looking for the perfect song to match your love story. Or simply wanting a memorable dance party, know that I'm here, with open ears and an open heart, ready to create a soundtrack as unique as your journey together.

To get started, please schedule a call with me by clicking on this link or emailing me at

Ben Boylan


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